Choosing a guardian for your children is one of the most important parts of your estate planning process. It’s not fun to think about what would happen if you weren’t around to raise your kids, but it’s also essential to be prepared because you will put your kids in a very difficult spot — and make life much harder for everyone — if you don’t plan for what could happen if you aren’t here to raise your kids into adulthood.
There’s a lot to think about as you decide who would be a good guardian for your kids, but these five tips will help you to make the right choice and ensure your children are loved and cared for in the best way possible if the worst happens.
1. Consider what values are important to you in a guardian for your kids
One of the single most important considerations when selecting a guardian for your kids is whether the person you choose is going to share your values. After all, there are a lot of little details in day-to-day parenting that may not matter much, like your kid’s exact bedtime or what they call their grandparents. But, most parents really want to raise their children in a way that aligns with their core values — and that desire won’t disappear even if you can’t be the one to raise them.
Consider what is most important to you. Are you focused on education? Do you want your children raised with a particular religious education? Do you care deeply about travel or teaching your kids independence? Prioritize people who share your core values and would raise your kids in a way that aligns with your core beliefs.
2. Make sure your guardians are capable of fulfilling the job
Choosing a guardian can be tricky because you don’t just have to think about who would be good with your children. You also have to consider who would be capable of raising them for years to come.
For example, you might adore your parents, but will they still have the energy to chase toddlers or handle teenagers in ten years? On the flip side, your best friend from college may be fantastic with your kids, but if she’s still figuring out her own life, she may not be in the best position to take on the responsibility of parenting full time.
You’ll want to pick someone who is mature, stable, and likely to be in good physical and emotional shape to care for your children over the long haul. You’ll also have to think about whether they can take on multiple kids. After all, most parents want to keep siblings together after a tragedy. Not only does this provide emotional comfort, but it preserves their sense of “family” even if everything else changes. If your chosen guardian already has a bunch of kids of their own, though, it may be tricky to take on multiple additional children so you may need to consider a different guardian.
3. Make sure your parenting styles match
If you and your potential guardian have wildly different parenting styles, that could be something worth thinking about — and it may mean that a different guardian is in order. Discipline, screen time, homework, and curfews are all big issues that will affect how your child grows up and sees the world. You don’t want to pick a very overprotective parent, for example, if giving your kids the chance to spread their wings is something that really matters to you.
4. Consider the financial implications of being a guardian for your kids
LendingTree reports that it costs $297,674 to raise a child until age 18. That is a real lot of money. Of course, you should ideally be leaving behind funds for your children, so your guardian doesn’t necessarily need to be wealthy. However, if you are going to provide money to support your kids, you want to make sure the person managing the funds will use the money responsibly. You can also think about whether you’re better off making a trust so a trustee can handle the funds, or whether you want the money to go directly to your children’s guardians.
5. Talk to your chosen guardian and make sure they’re willing
You do not want to choose a guardian who proves unable to fulfill this role, so it’s vital to have a conversation before choosing someone and putting them in your estate plan. Ask if they’re willing—and able—to take on the responsibility, and be open to hearing “no” without judgment.
You’ll also need to be sure to name a backup guardian, because life changes happen over time and the person you pick may not actually be up to the task when push comes to shove.
Get the right legal help to name a guardian for your kids
At the Northern California Center for Estate Planning and Elder Law, our legal team can help you to consider all of the key issues involved in planning for what could happen to your children after you pass on.
To find out how we can help with this important but difficult issue, give us a call at (916) 437-3500 or contact us online to schedule a consultation with a Sacramento estate planning lawyer.
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