When Your Parents Need Your Help
Thanks to advances in medicine and science, as well as an overall better quality of life, Americans at the beginning of the 21st century have an average life expectancy of almost double what they had at the beginning of the previous century. Despite this, the natural aging process has not changed significantly during the last 100 years. We are simply better able to prolong the inevitable. As a result, it often comes as somewhat of a shock when we realize our parents are getting old – and that they won’t live forever after all. Even more difficult to accept is that the parent who once took care of you now needs your help.
As time marches on, it might become harder and harder for your parents to keep up. It may happen slowly, or in the blink of an eye, but eventually you will see signs that your parents’ physical and mental health is deteriorating. Like any caring child, you may try to pitch in and help for a while. Eventually, the time may come when your parents require more assistance than you can provide. At that point it is time to consider options such as in-home care or a long-term care facility. Making the decision to take the next step is never easy. The decision will be much easier to make and implement, however, if your parents have planned ahead for that possibility. The key, therefore, is to have a comprehensive estate plan in place that addresses issues specific to their post-retirement years.
You might be asking what you can do now. Encourage your parents to meet with an experienced and qualified estate planning attorney in their area. Even if they have an existing will or trust, it may be time for a review and, as needed, an update. Many people mistakenly believe that estate planning is a “one and done” task. That thinking can be a costly mistake.
A well-thought-out estate plan can anticipate the issues that go along with the certainty of aging and the possibility of incapacity, by incorporating tools and strategies such as:
- Revocable Living Trust – A well-constructed plan allows a parent to act as trustee while appointing you as the successor trustee. Should incapacity strike at any time, the successor trustee (perhaps you) will take over as trustee of the trust, thereby gaining control over all trust assets without the need to petition a court. Please note that all trusts are not created equally. Regrettably, there are many peddlers of low cost and frequently defective trusts. If your parents have fallen for their sales pitches, it would be in the best interest of all concerned to have it reviewed by an attorney who specializes in estate planning.
- Advanced Health Directives – although these vary somewhat from state to state, most states offer an Advanced Directive that allows an individual to make end-of-life decisions in advance. Advanced Directives also allow for the appointment of an “Agent” (you) who will make healthcare decisions for the “Principal” (your parent) should the “Principal” be unable to make such decisions at some point in the future. Again, some folks have relied upon free or cheap forms available on the internet. These are often defective and may not be honored at the time they are most needed.
- “HIPAA” Authorization Form – a Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, or HIPAA, form allows your parent to grant you (and/or others) access to their protected healthcare information. This could be a critical need should you find yourself in a position where you need to make financial or healthcare decisions for a parent in the future. Without such a form, you may find doctors, hospital and nursing home personnel unwilling to discuss the health of your loved one.
- Long Term Care Planning – this component of a properly drafted estate plan anticipates the future need for the creator of the plan to qualify for certain long term care benefits available from the VA (for certain veterans and their surviving spouses or the Medi-Cal program in order to cover the high cost of long-term care. In other states, the Medi-Cal program is referred to as Medicaid. This planning protects estate assets while ensuring eligibility for much needed benefits when the time comes.
