Having multiple children can be a very rewarding thing. When you have more than one child, you know they have a built-in support system and, if you’re lucky, a best friend for life.
Having more than one child, however, can make estate planning more complicated. When you have one child, you may decide to designate them as the sole beneficiary of your estate. That’s easy. When you have multiple children, it’s important to split your assets fairly.
A 2025 Northwestern Mutual survey found that 31% of Americans expect to leave an inheritance behind to a loved one. And 20% actually say that leaving an inheritance is their most important financial goal.
One thing you do not want to do, though, is create conflict among your children in the course of leaving them with an inheritance. To that end, here are three big mistakes you should make every effort to avoid in the course of splitting your assets among your children.
1. Assuming that equal and fair are the same thing
If you have more than one child, you might assume that the simplest way to divide your estate is to do the math and split things equally. For example, let’s say your estate is worth $500,000 and you have two children. The easiest thing to do may be to have each child inherit $250,000 worth of assets. While that may be an equal way to do things, that doesn’t automatically mean that it’s a fair way to do things.
Let’s say one of your children has constantly provided you with care and support, such as taking you to medical appointments and fixing things in your home. The other child, meanwhile, has not stepped at all despite being able to. In that case, it may not be fair to simply split your estate in half, since one child clearly did a lot more for you than the other.
Or, let’s say one of your children has three children of their own and the other is intentionally child-free. It stands to reason that the one with children of their own might need money more than the other. So this is another situation where splitting things down the middle may not be the best of course of action, even though it may result in fewer complications.
2. Forgetting to name beneficiaries for important assets
It’s easy enough to forget to include certain assets in your will or trust. But if you don’t name those assets and designate beneficiaries for them, conflicts could arise.
Let’s say you are an accomplished piano player and have a piano worth $20,000. If you don’t say who inherits it, your children might fight over that asset once you’re gone because it means a lot to them.
Of course, if it doesn’t hold sentimental value, your children could simply sell the piano and split the proceeds. But you can’t just split a piano down the middle and have each child take home half. So it’s important to think about the assets that might mean a lot to your children and make a detailed plan for them.
3. Not discussing your plans openly while you’re still alive
As a parent, you’re probably used to breaking up fights between siblings. This may have been something you did very often when your children were little. And it’s something you may still have to do here and there now that your children have grown up and have lives of their own.
But if you’re no longer around to break up those fights, it’s hard to say how long they might last and how deep a wedge they might create. And you never know if the estate planning decisions you make might end up causing a fight between your kids — and a serious one at that.
That’s why it is so important to discuss your inheritance plans with your children while you’re alive. Tell them your intentions and the logic behind each decision you’re making, and give them a chance to share their thoughts as well.
This is an especially important thing to do if you decide not to split your estate equally between your children. You also don’t want there to be any hard feelings toward you after you’re gone. By having an open conversation, you can avoid a scenario where one of your children feels slighted once you’re no longer here.
At our firm, we understand that putting an estate plan in place can be a complex process, especially when there are different family dynamics involved. We’re here to work with you and your family to create a comprehensive estate plan that serves everybody’s needs and gives you the peace of mind you deserve. Contact our office today for an initial consultation or give us a call at (916) 437-3500 to get started with your estate plan.
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