When it comes to estate planning, you have a choice to make during the process. You can decide that you want to involve your family members. This could mean anything from having a discussion with them about your plans to actively asking them what kinds of property they hope to inherit. Or you could decide to keep the estate planning process a secret and not share the details with your loved ones.
There are pros and cons to both approaches, and you’ll need to make a choice about which of the options makes sense for you. Here’s what you need to know to help you decide.
Here are the benefits of sharing details about your estate plan with your loved ones
There are some big benefits to involving your family as you go through the estate planning process.
One of the most important of these benefits is that you can help your friends and loved ones to prepare for what is going to happen when you are gone. There may be a mismatch between what you are expecting to occur and what your family thinks is likely to happen and talking about the situation in advance could help ensure your family is not caught off guard.
For example, a recent Northwestern Mutual study found that around a third (32%) of millennials expect that they are going to receive an inheritance. This does not include the 3% of people in this demographic group who said they have already received one. At the same time, though, the study also shows that only 22% of Gen X and 22% of Boomers plan to leave behind a financial gift for loved ones.
This likely means that many young people are expecting an inheritance that their family members are not planning to leave to them. If they’re basing their financial choices on money and property that doesn’t come, this could set them up for problems. It could also leave them feeling upset. If you are able to discuss these issues beforehand, you reduce the risk of your loved ones being upset after you are gone.
You can also talk with your family about other critical issues. For example, if you have children or pets and need someone to care for them after you are gone, you’d want to discuss this with the people who you plan to make guardians. If you are choosing an executor of your estate, you’d probably want to have a conversation with that person as well to make sure they are willing to serve in this important role.
Since your estate plan can also address other issues, such as the kinds of medical care you want to accept or deny in an emergency situation, this could also be important to discuss. You don’t want your family to be upset by decisions you make regarding medical interventions — or even to try to undermine the decisions that you have made.
Open discussion in advance gives everyone the chance to get on the same page and to address any issues that could arise before they happen at a time when you are no longer able to explain your reasoning. Not only could this help everyone feel better about the choices you’re making, but it could also reduce the chances of problems like someone contesting your will after you pass away.
Here are the disadvantages of sharing details about your estate plan with your loved ones
There are also some downsides that you should be aware of when you are making your estate plan and considering discussing the issues with your friends and loved ones.
One of the biggest downsides is that people in your life could become angry or upset with you — especially if you tell them that they are not getting an inheritance they were anticipating receiving. This could affect the relationship that they have with you during the course of your life. You may not want that to happen, especially if you fear that they are going to react poorly to the things you are sharing.
Another downside is that people could potentially pressure you to make different decisions than the ones you would truly prefer. For example, if you decide that you don’t want extraordinary interventions used to prolong your life and your family is upset about this, they could push you to change your mind. If you do, then you might consent to something when you would really prefer not to.
You need to think about how your family is likely to respond to the things that you plan to share. If you don’t think that they are going to be supportive, then telling them the details may do more harm than good.
Of course, you can be selective about the information you provide. You could, for example, only discuss guardianship or limit yourself to asking someone if they are willing to serve as the executor of your estate but not provide any more details than that. This can be a good middle ground if you don’t trust that your loved ones will necessarily be on board with all of your choices. Just remember, though, that once you open the door to the conversation, they may press you to know more. Plus, if you don’t address issues in advance, there could be problems after your death when the time comes.
Ultimately, whatever you decide, your estate plan is yours and yours alone. We can help you to create a solid plan that expresses your wishes and that your family members are unlikely to be able to challenge even if they wish you’d made different choices. To find out more about how our legal team can help you, give us a call at (916) 437-3500 or contact us online today. If you are unsure about sharing your estate plan, our team can help you.
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